Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
