just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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