I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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