Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
