I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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