I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why is there bacon in the couch?