just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!