Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.