Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.