So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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