the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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