you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize