i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
