how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
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In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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