You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize