We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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