dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
