We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
