a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
