His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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