We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
