So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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