I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize