I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
