I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
