i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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