no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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