well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
