Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
