Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
