I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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