Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
