A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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