What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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