with your own penis?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
