this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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