if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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