I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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