I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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