Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
