Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have tasted many bathrooms
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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