There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
