I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
