Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
