Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize