i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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