Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize