can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize