Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
