Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
