i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
