Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
