My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
