I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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