I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize