I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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