I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
