Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
