Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
